At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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