Where are you?
In a non slutty way
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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