You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
