Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
