Where did you get a picture of my penis
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
