bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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