Tell her she can't have a vagina
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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