Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
