my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
