She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
