After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was born a porn star she said
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
