Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
