My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
