Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
