i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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