that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
