super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
