If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Please don't give away my fajitas
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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