he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
