just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
