Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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