How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
