we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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