The maid of honor just puked.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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