Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
