I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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