a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
