Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i love accidental penises.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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