You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
