So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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