her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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