You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
People in love make me want to vomit
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
