I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
