come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
