why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
