Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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