yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
