does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
