You smell like stripper and shame
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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