I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
