She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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