Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
