i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
