Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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