We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
