i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Boobs speak an international language.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
