the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
