The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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