i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
