of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
